I would die for you
by TheLoner7
Summary: When Gwaine finds himself having to chose between saving Arthur and Merlin or the love of his life, he will follow his heart. Later on, he tells Leon he loves him, making things awkward and difficult. Leon has to make a plan to rescue the king while trying not to fall in love with Gwaine. Bad summary, but please read!
1. In my mind

**A/N **Hello beautiful people from the internet! So, first story with this account, yay! Before you start with this fic, I´d like you to please read the following as I want to clear up some things:

-This is a Gwaion fic (Gwaine and Leon), I know it´s not very common because a lot of people don´t ship it, but when they appeared together in season 3, my heart melted and I knew I had to ship it

-This fic takes place around season 4, when Arthur is king.

-Merthur is canon. At the beginning, it wasn´t going to be like this, but I changed my mind for multiple reasons.

-This fic is not going to be very long, maybe 7 or 8 chapters

-I WILL try to upload quickly, I promise.

-English is not my first language. You may find some mistakes and please know that my English is not perfect.

Thank you for paying attention to that, happy reading and please tell me what you think about it!

TheLoner7

Words without A/N: 1354

**I would die for you**

**1. In my mind**

_''__He flooded my thoughts everyday and I didn´t know how to swim. But that was okay'' Anonymous._

King Arthur, his servant and four of his most loyal knights were heading to the frontiers of Camelot due to a very secret mission. Arthur and Merlin were the only ones who knew where they were going and wanted to keep it secret for a while because of all the rumors about a spy in Camelot. The king had said that this was a very serious and dangerous mission, that if they accepted to go, they had to blindly trust him for a while. The knights had accepted and everything was as normal as usual: Elyan and Percival were having a private conversation, Gwaine couldn´t keep his mouth shut and Leon was just riding his horse with a serious expression on his face.

''I wonder what´s going on with Sir Leon.'' Merlin whispered to Arthur.

''He´s alright, I think.'' The king said.

''He is concerned about something and far more serious than usual.''

''Then why don´t you ask him, Merlin?''

''Do you think he's worried about the mission, I mean, we´re the only ones who know about it.''

''Merlin, I told you I wanted to talk to everyone about the mission at night. I want to be as far as away as I can from Camelot before thinking about the mission.''

''Are you paranoid about the spy?''

''Shut up, Merlin!'' Arthur snapped. Merlin giggled and the other man couldn´t hide his smile, it had been such a stupid comment.

''Why so worried, Leon?'' Gwaine asked, as if he had been concerned about the knight too.

''Is everything alright back there?'' Arthur asked as everyone turned their eyes to Leon.

''I was a little worried about something.'' Leon said. ''Sire, I was thinking that we should know about the mission. To be honest, we have never questioned your decisions and we would gladly give our lives for you. You said it was dangerous and I think we should be prepared.''

''You´re right.'' Arthur said. ''I´m sorry, I will tell you tonight when we find a good place to rest.

After a couple of hours, they finally found a place that looked safe and they set the camp as Merlin started cooking. The knights tried to look calm, as they wanted the king to trust them. They sat down in a circle and waited till their leader decided to speak.

''Listen here, I´m sorry for worrying you,'' Arthur started. ''we all know the rumors about the spy in Camelot and I have to admit that I was concerned about it. There is a slave trader near the frontiers of Camelot, who may be working for Morgana, our mission is to find him and everyone who works for him so we can stop them.''

''Well, the mission itself is not that dangerous, but the places are. And there is always the risk to encounter Morgana.'' Sir Percival said.

''Right, I hope you can understand and I am grateful for your support.''

''We understand completely, sire.'' Leon said. ''Of course, the safety of Camelot is your priority and we are the ones who should think about your comfort. About the spy, I had my worries too and asked the best knights who stayed to look for him or her and talk to anyone who seems suspicious.''

''Good job and thank you, Leon.'' Arthur said. Everyone remained silent after Leon´s comment, no one could think of something better to say. The knight had always been like that, a leader: he always knew how to act and guide people with trust. Nobody wanted to admit it, but every knight of Camelot admired him, especially one that was right there, sitting next to him.

They ate, talked for a bit and then went to sleep; Merlin was going to take first watch. As always, the first hour was calm and boring. Merlin saw that the knights were peacefully resting and that there was no danger around. He sat down near Arthur and considered sleeping due to the lack of danger, but then he realized that something was wrong: Gwaine wasn´t snoring. Gwaine really knew how to snore and it made Merlin wonder about whether or not the knight was asleep. He stared at him for a minute or two.

''Do you always stare at sleeping people in your free time?'' Gwaine asked, surprising Merlin.

''I… I´m sorry, Gwaine... I wasn´t sure…''

''Hey, it´s okay, I was just thinking.''

''Are you worried about the mission?'' Merlin asked as Gwaine sat down next to him.

''Not at all.'' He answered with a little smile.

''And what were you thinking about?'' Merlin said. Gwaine didn´t answer, he just hid his face shyly, unlike him. ''Gwaine?''

''Okay, Merlin, I´ll tell you… I was thinking about someone.''

''Oh, someone… who is it?''

''I´m sorry, Merlin, I can´t tell you now, not until I´m sure about the whole thing.''

''So, you´re not together?''

''Not really. I´m not as lucky as you and Arthur.''

''How did you…?'' Merlin asked, impressed. ''Is it really that obvious?''

''Just a little.'' Gwaine laughed. ''You just have to see the way you look at each other, not a mystery at all.''

''Will you please…?''

''Of course, Merlin, I won´t tell anyone.''

''Thank you.'' The servant answered with relief. ''It´s just that it´s hard: king and servant, man and man.''

''I understand, well, at least the man and man part.''

''Oh, okay.'' Merlin said, glad that Arthur and him were not the only ones with that kind of orientation. ''And for how long have you been in love with this man you don´t want to tell me about?''

''For a little while now,'' Gwaine said. ''I´m not sure, feeling like this is very, very confusing. But I´d do anything for him, of that I´m sure.''

''Why don´t you tell him? You´re Sir Gwaine, after all, the most desirable knight of Camelot.''

''He doesn´t think like that.'' Gwaine said with a sad smile. ''I don´t know, Merlin, maybe it´s just not meant to happen.''

''But you love him.''

''I´m almost sure I do, but the thought of being loved back seems almost impossible.''

''Why?'' Merlin asked to cheer up his friend. ''I thought the same, but, in the end, everything went well.''

''Because you´re Arthur and Merlin, and I´m just Gwaine: an idiot who can´t do things well.''

''Are you joking? You saved our lives without even knowing us, you aided me to help Arthur with his mission, you are a very important knight and you have saved our lives on countless occasions. Right, just another idiot.'' Merlin said, but Gwaine didn´t reply. ''You really think that about yourself? Does he make you feel that?''

''Not at all.'' Gwaine said, finally. ''It´s myself. It´s just that, for the first time in my life, I don´t feel good enough.''

''Look, I know what it is like to feel worthless, but Arthur mends that and that´s just what you need: someone who can fix you.''

''He fixes me, believe me, he does… but, sometimes, people are so warm-hearted that that they don´t take responsibility of other people´s happiness.''

''Then, fix him as well. Make him happy, it will bring you peace and he might end up falling for you.''

Gwaine remained silent for a little while. Merlin was getting nervous because probably he had said something inappropriate. The knight spoke: ''Arthur is right: you are so wise sometimes, Merlin. Thank you, I´ll think about that… now, get some sleep, you look tired and I can´t sleep anyways.''

''Are you sure?'' Merlin asked and Gwaine nodded. ''Thank you and good luck.''

Merlin laid down near Arthur and closed his eyes; he was asleep in a couple of minutes. Gwaine just stayed there, thinking about the man who had stolen his heart without knowing. He was awake for hours, with the man who had changed his life flooding his mind. ''Stupid, why did you have to fall?'' Gwaine complained. After a few minutes, he whispered the man´s name and remained quiet for the rest of the night.

**Review?**


	2. I'd rather save you

**A/N: **Hello beautiful people from the internet! Sorry I took so long to post this chapter. I really wanted opinions on the first chapter but I got 0 reviews (hint hint!). There is more action in this chapter so I really hope you like it and please tell me what you think, I would appreciate it a lot! Happy reading!

Words without A/N: 1602

**2. I´d rather save you**

_''__That one last shot´s a permanent vacation and how can you fly with broken wings'' Aerosmith_

''Wake up, lazy people!'' That was the first thing everyone heard in the morning. When they opened their eyes, they say Gwaine remaking the fire so they could have some breakfast.

''Did you stay up all night?'' Merlin asked Gwaine quietly while making some food.

''It´s alright, I told you, and I couldn´t sleep anyways.'' Gwaine answered and Merlin nodded.

''If I´m not wrong, we will…'' Arthur said, interrupting himself with a yawn. ''We will reach our destiny a couple of hours before sunset, we´ll have time to stop the slave trader.''

After having a quick breakfast, Arthur, Merlin and the knights prepared the horses and continued with their journey. As the day before, everyone acted as they usually did, but the path seemed darker. They were heading to dangerous lands where dark magic, bandits, enemies and even Morgana could be. Arthur promised that he would do anything to have all of them return safely to Camelot, but that didn´t make the place less dangerous.

Everyone left out a sigh of relief when they reached a quiet and peaceful place, it was surrounded by trees and there was a little river near. Percival asked if they could stay there for a while to get some water and the rest agreed. Leon was feeling calmer than the day before, but still alert. He started walking towards the river when he heard something strange, as if someone had moved behind the trees.

''Did you hear that?'' The knight asked.

''What?'' Arthur said.

''I heard that too.'' Gwaine said.

''What are you talking ab…?'' Arthur started but Leon silenced him with his hand. They stood still for some seconds, and then the noise was heard again. As everyone drew their swords, a dozen of bandits started running towards them, revealing that they had been hiding behind the trees.

At first, it looked as if the fight was going to be won by the kings and his knights: Arthur had already finished with a bandit with great agility, Leon was coping well with two enemies, Percival didn´t even have to use his sword to defeat some of them and one of the bandits had mysteriously fallen into the river. But another dozen of them came out of the trees.

A bandit screamed with pain as Gwaine slit his sword across his back. The knight was fighting with great skill and was confident about winning the encounter. In the corner of his eye, he saw that one of the bandits had grabbed Merlin and he was going to help him, but he saw Arthur running towards them. He kept fighting, sure about the kings rescuing his servant, but he heard the sound of a sword falling. He turned and saw that two bandits had grabbed Arthur too.

''Take these two! They are from Camelot, the boss will give us a nice amount of gold for them!'' The one who seemed the leader said. Gwaine was about to run to his king when he heard a scream that gave him goosebumps. He turned again and saw that one of the bandits had stabbed Leon. The man was about to stab him again, but the knight was quicker and made him fall next to him. Gwaine was almost certain that Leon would be able to beat the bandit, but two more were walking towards them.

Gwaine had two options: Merlin and Arthur or Leon.

''Gwaine, you idiot.'' He whispered to himself before running to kill the man who was fighting with Leon. As he stabbed him, he noticed the wound in Leon´s body, deep and nasty. The sight of it filled him with rage.

''What are you doing?'' Leon asked, knowing that the bandits were taking Arthur and Merlin away. Gwaine didn´t answer, he killed the two men who wanted to harm Leon in a violent and almost cruel way. He lost himself for a minute or two; the only thing in his mind was protecting Leon, which made him kill everyone who got too close. When he finished, he was shaking and his mind was racing, he saw Percival and Elyan looking at him scared and worried. Then, he kneeled to hold Leon, who had blacked out due to his wound.

''What do we do now?'' Elyan asked. ''You killed most of the bandits, but some just left with Merlin and Arthur. Even if we followed them with the horses now, we would never get close to them and I'm sure they have reinforcements. Besides, there are just four of us and…''

''Three.'' Gwaine corrected, feeling tears rolling down his cheeks. ''Leon is not dead, but he can't fight. We need to take him to Camelot as soon…''

''But, the king?'' Percival asked. Gwaine didn't know what to say, why were Percival and Elyan asking him? Maybe because it had been his choice to save Leon instead of Arthur and Merlin, it had been _his fault._

''You said we're too far away and too weak to follow them.'' Gwaine said faintly. ''If we return to Camelot quickly and tell Agravaine about it, he could send…''

''That's a good idea.'' Elyan said, kneeling next to Gwaine and, now, understanding completely the reasons behind his friend's actions. ''But we have to go now.''

He helped Gwaine to his feet and up his horse while Percival tried to cover Leon´s wound and carry his body. The knight, also understanding Gwaine, put the body in front of Gwaine so he wouldn't fall down. Elyan and Percival moved around, preparing the horses and God knows what else, Gwaine wasn´t paying attention and he didn´t care. He was a bit calmer now, but tears kept rolling down his cheeks as he held Leon's hand.

After what seemed years, they parted to Camelot. Gwaine's eyes were on the path but he couldn´t focus, he was just following Percival and Elyan. Leon was cold, very cold, so Gwaine put his arms around him hoping to warm him up. His mind was blank. Of course, there was some guilt, but he was focused on Leon and that they needed to reach Camelot quickly.

''Gwaine, we have to rest.'' Elyan whispered, bringing the knight back to reality. Percival put Leon carefully on the floor, taking a lot at his wound.

''We have to get back to Camelot.'' Gwaine said, dull.

''We ride at dawn.'' Elyan answered. ''You and Leon need to rest.'' Gwaine nodded and agreed to rest when their friends promised to take turns to look after Leon.

Gwaine didn't know exactly when he fell asleep, he just did. However, it was not a peaceful night. He dreamt of Leon, which should have made him happy and calmed him down, but it wasn´t like that. At first, he dreamt of some of their best moments, making him feel nostalgic. Then, without a warning, he saw Leon´s wounded body and heard his cry of pain over and over again. It was a prison he couldn't escape and a nightmare that wouldn't let him wake up. He felt afraid, stupid, guilty, worthless…

''Gwaine, wake up!'' Elyan said in the morning, waking up the knight.

''Leon… is he…?'' Gwaine started asking, worried and trying to catch his breath.

''He's alright. He woke up for some minutes when Percival was awake, he asked for some water and he feels the wound, which it´s good, according to Gaius.'' Elyan answered and Gwaine nodded. ''We´re just a couple of hours away from Camelot, come, we have to go.''

As the day before, Percival and Elyan made Leon ride with Gwaine and guided them. As soon as they parted, Gwaine's mind drifted away and he thought about what would have happened if he had acted differently. What if he had chosen Arthur and Merlin instead of Leon? It wouldn't have been his fault and the mission would probably be complete. But, what about Leon? Without a doubt, he would have died. _Selfish idiot_, thought Gwaine. But then, he realized that maybe it wasn´t completely selfish, Leon would have died if it hadn´t been for him. _You should have acted quicker, idiot, _he thought again, _idiot, idiot._

Gwaine would have never noticed that they had reached the castle if his horse hadn´t stopped. Percival and Elyan helped him and Leon inside the castle. As soon as he entered, Gwaine started shaking. ''We need Gaius.'' He said and, if those words were a magical spell, the old physician appeared.

''Dear lord!'' He gasped when he saw Leon. ''Percival, take him to his chambers and, Merlin, bring me…''

''He´s not here, Gaius.'' Percival said. ''Elyan will bring everything you need and I'll explain what happened.''

The physician nodded, of course, he was worried about Merlin, but he had to heal Leon. He gave some instructions to Elyan and headed to Leon´s rooms, followed by Percival with the knight in his arms. Gwaine was going to follow them when someone stopped him:

''Sir Gwaine!'' Agravaine, Arthur's uncle, called. He was walking towards him with a fake worried expression. ''Sir Gwaine, what happened? Where is Arthur?''

''We… we were on the mission and…'' Gwaine started, but he couldn´t speak correctly and wanted to follow Leon. ''And some bandits attacked us…''

''Oh, God, is he dead?''

''No… well, I'm almost certain he's not, but…''

''Where is he?''

''I don't know, but…'

''Where is the king?''

''My lord, Agravaine.'' Said Gwaine, now in control of his words. ''The king and his servant have been captured by a slave trader.''

**A/N: **Sooo we just reached a deep part, there will be more of Gwaine and Leon and, as I promised a friend, some 'deep Merthur shit'. Please, tell me what you think.

TheLoner7


	3. For the love of Camelot?

**A/N: Hello beautiful people from the internet! Sorry for taking so long, I was on a trip and seriously busy. Thank you, by the way, for the favourites and follows! But I still don't know what you think about it, mind reviewing please?**

**Enjoy!**

**Number of words without A/N: 1475**

**3. For the love of Camelot?**

_''__If you don't love me, lie to me, 'cause you're the one thing I believe.'' Bon Jovi._

''Can you stop doing that, please?'' Percival asked Gwaine for the third time. The knight had been moving his legs nervously.

''I'm sorry.'' Gwaine answered shortly. His eyes were red and puffy, and he had been sitting outside Leon's room for an hour with his friends.

''So… Leon.'' Elyan said after a minute, attempting to break the uncomfortable silence. ''Do you…?''

''Yes.'' Gwaine said without letting his friend continue. He didn't want to speak at all.

''He will be fine, you know?'' Percival said. ''It wasn't that bad and Gaius will…''

Leon's room door opened, interrupting the knight. Gaius appeared and looked at them calmly.

''Sir Leon is better, now. Of course, he is in pain, but that is good because it means he hasn´t lost too much blood. He will be fully recovered in six days. Don't worry, he will be fine… if you excuse me, I'd like to talk to Agravaine about a solution with what happened. Elyan and Percival, will you come?''

''What about…?'' Gwaine started.

''Oh, of course. I forgot to mention it, sorry, Gwaine, Leon wants to see you.''

''Me?''

''Yes, just you.'' Gaius said quickly and went off to see Agravaine, followed by Elyan and Percival. Gwaine felt confused for some seconds, why would Leon want to see him? The possibilities were infinite: maybe he was thankful for being saved; maybe he was angry because the king hadn't been Gwaine's priority. There was also a very crazy option: what if Leon felt the same way towards Gwaine?

The knight stood there thinking about everything that could happen and the 'what if's started appearing. Gwaine didn´t wait any longer and opened the door, shyly but excited. He felt a terrible pain when he saw Leon lying uncomfortably on his bed covered in bandages. There was some blood on the floor, it was surely going to dry and stay as a painful memory forever.

''Leon?'' Gwaine asked calmly, heading to the chair next to the bed.

''Gwaine?'' Leon answered, looking at the knight and trying to sit, which made him groan.

''Don't sit, it's okay.'' Gwaine said, hurrying next to the blonde and holding him in place so he wouldn't feel any pain. Grabbing Leon had probably been a mistake because Gwaine remembered all they had gone through, making him want to hold and protect Leon. Then, he sat and looked into the knight's eyes, they were so beautiful, but he couldn't understand what they were expressing. He fought the urge to kiss him with a question asked in a shaky voice: ''Did you want to see me?''

''I did.'' Leon said, clearly uncomfortable with what had happened. He cleared his throat before speaking. ''Gwaine, look, I wanted to thank you for saving my life, I really don't know…''

''There's no need.'' Gwaine interrupted. ''I just…''

''Wait, I'm not finished yet. I really appreciate the fact that you risked your life for me. I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you but…'' He breathed heavily; Gwaine could see he was somehow angry. ''For the love of Camelot.''

''What?'' The other asked, not understanding why Leon had finished his statement like that.

''For the love of Camelot, Gwaine.'' He repeated. It looked as though the only reason he hadn't hit Gwaine was because of his wound.

''Leon, I don't unders…''

''For the love of Camelot, you idiot! What on earth were you thinking?'' Leon exploded, making his wound ache. Gwaine didn't answer and Leon closed his eyes before continuing, calmer this time. ''Gwaine, I know your intentions were noble, but you chose a bloody knight instead of the king. Why?''

''I… I just… I followed my heart.''

''You what?'' Leon asked as if Gwaine was an idiot. ''When one swears loyalty to Camelot, one swears loyalty to the king as well. Arthur could be dead and you followed your heart?''

''You would have died if…''

''I know, Gwaine, that's why I thanked you, but we don't know what happened to Arthur. You saw that he was being taken away, he's the bloody king for God's sake!''

Gwaine had to clear his throat before speaking because the urge to cry was strong. ''Leon, I'm so sorry, I know it was my fault, but…''

''I don't want you to say it as it was your fault.'' Leon said, calmer and trying to keep a normal tone. ''I know we can't change what has been done. I'm sorry, Gwaine, for overreacting and screaming. I just want to know your reasons.''

''Leon, I…'' Gwaine started, he was about to tell Leon the truth. He wanted to tell him how much he needed him and that losing him would mean dying. Leon's eyes were calm and understanding, it would be alright. Gwaine wanted to tell him and he was about to. But his biggest enemy, doubt, made him change his mind. ''Leon, you´re right and there is no need to apologise. It was my fault and I need to fix everything, I will talk with Agravaine about going to rescue Arthur.''

''I was going to do that myself.'' Leon said. ''But that's not what I asked you, Gwaine.''

''Oh, you're telling Agravaine?'' Gwaine asked, trying to avoid the question. ''Do you want me to tell that to Percival and Elyan?''

''No, I want you to tell me why you did it.'' Leon said firmly. Gwaine started feeling nervous, that wasn't him at all. What was he supposed to do? Now, telling the other man the truth didn't sound like a good idea. Leon insisted. ''Gwaine?''

''I can't.'' Answered Gwaine after some moments.

''You can't?''

''It's difficult to explain.''

''You can trust me.''

''I know... but...''

''But?''

Gwaine sighed. ''Are you sure you don't want me to..?''

''Gwaine!''

''I did it for you and because of you, okay?!'' Gwaine exploded. ''I did it because I'm stupid and selfish. I know Arthur is more important, but I was only thinking about my happiness: your existence. Leon, I just can't live without you. I know you don't feel the same, but I need you and losing you would mean death.'' He regretted saying all of that as soon as he was finished.

''Gwaine... so you...?'' Leon began asking, surprised as never before. ''Gwaine, I... I understand now... I'm sorry I pressured you, I... I had no idea.''

Gwaine didn't reply, he lowered his head and fought the urge to cry. He had always known that Leon wasn't interested in him. Still, there had also existed a little hope... a hope now dead.

''Oh my... Gwaine, I'm terribly sorry.'' Leon said. ''Forget about this, okay? Forget about the whole thing. I... I'm not angry. I should learn to shut up when... Listen, Gwaine, I will ask Agravaine about rescuing Merlin and Arthur.'' Leon said while covering his face with his hands. Apparently, Gwaine's confession had been a much more unexpected hit than the one that had wounded him. ''If it's okay with you, I don't want this to change anything between us. Gwaine, it's hard for me too, but we need to focus on the king now. If you want, we can talk about this when...''

''It's okay.'' Gwaine said. ''I understand... Percival and Elyan were worried too, do you want them to enter?''

''Alright, thank you, Gwaine.'' Leon sighed, embarrassed. Gwaine stood up and started walking toward the door, but stopped when Leon called him. ''Gwaine... I need to tell you something else. If Agravaine asks what happened with details, don't mention seeing how Arthur was captured. We don't know how he will react, but I'm sure he won't be nice.''

Gwaine nodded and walked away. When he was out of the room, Percival and Elyan asked him about Leon. ''He wants to see you as well.'' That was his answer, said with a tiny and sad voice. After that, he half-ran to his room, he preferred to avoid questions or strange looks. When he got there, he closed the door quickly, sat down on the floor and began to cry. The tears kept coming and coming, Gwaine was a mess.

''Idiot, you're an idiot, you're a stupid idiot, this is all your fault.'' Gwaine kept repeating. He didn't know which was worse: the guilt or the rejection. Yes, of course the capture had been his fault; the possibility of Camelot ending up with no king was his fault. And there was Leon, he had acted as nicely as possible, so understanding; but a voice in his mind kept repeating: _he's disgusted and he hates you, you just ruined your whole friendship, he will never love you._

The brave and noble Sir Gwaine cried all night, guilt and sadness flooding his mind. Everything, everything, was pain.

**Review?**


	4. Making a plan

**A/N: **Hello beautiful people from the internet! I'm here with the next chapter, I hope you enjoy it!Thank you for the follows and the favourites, plase review? By the way, this fic is gonna be longer than expected, probably ten chapters yay! Sorry if you think I take too long to post my chapters, I've had a terrible writer's block and I'm working on other writing project.

Enjoy and review please!

Words without A/N: 1866

**4. Making a Plan**

_''__Have you ever needed someone so bad? Have you ever wanted someone you just couldn't have? Did you ever try so hard that your world just fell apart? Have you ever needed someone so bad?'' Def Leppard._

Gwaine must have been extremely tired to fall asleep as he did, he could barely remember crawling into bed. He stood up and took a look at himself, _I´m a mess_, he thought. He was just wearing one of his boots, his shirt was nowhere to be found and he must have fallen asleep while taking his pants off because they were just covering his knees. It was still early so he asked a servant to bring him some hot water for a bath.

After he was clean and dressed with fresh clothes, he sat on the bed and began to think, he wasn't sure about his feelings anymore. There was some relief because he was sure they would get permission to go and rescue Arthur and Merlin; however, the guilt was still there. And there was also the deal with Leon, he had told Gwaine he would forget about the whole thing, but can you forget about something like that? _Great_, he thought, _just great_. When Gwaine walked out of his room, he encountered Percival and Elyan.

''You're late.'' Percival said.

''Late for what?'' Gwaine asked.

''I thought you were going to tell him.'' Percival said to Elyan.

''No, that was you.'' Elyan complained.

''Tell me what?'' Gwaine asked.

''Leon asked us to go to his room; Agravaine and Gauis are going to be there as well.''

''And none of you told me?''

''Pers was supposed to tell you!''

''It was Elyan!'' Percival said.

''Alright, it doesn't matter, let's go.'' Gwaine said, heading to Leon's room.

''So... how are you?'' Elyan asked, following the knight.

''Fine... I guess.'' Gwaine answered, felling weird, they never used to ask that.

''Okay, good, I just...''

''What?''

''Nothing.''

''What?''

''He wants to know what happened with Leon yesterday.'' Percival said.

''You wanted to know too!'' Elyan said angrily.

''Why didn't you ask Leon?'' Gwaine asked, somehow annoyed.

''Because we talked about other things and he's... well... intimidating.''

''Intimidating? I am far more intimidating.'' Gwaine said, offended. ''He's just taller than me!''

''Everyone's taller than you, Gwaine.'' Percival said.

Gwaine sighed. ''Nothing happened, okay?''

''What do you mean?''

''That nothing happened.''

''But, there must have ha...''

''Let me put it in a different way... nothing changed.''

''So you did tell him.'' Elyan said.

''Yes, but he wants to forget about it. And it's the best thing to do now. Forget about the whole thing, okay?'' Gwaine said, feeling angry and annoyed. He didn't want to forget, but he needed his friends to shut up.

They walked quietly to Leon's room; Agravaine and Gaius were already there. Gwaine could feel how his heart jumped when he saw Leon, he was sitting on his bed and he seemed better. He smiled at them but, his eyes showed empty feelings.

''Oh, I'm glad he's here.'' Agravaine laughed. ''I was starting to wonder where our little Sir Gwaine was.''

''My lord.'' Gwaine said dryly, he had never liked Agravaine.

''Now that all of us are here... well, I think you have some explanation to do.'' He said looking at the knights.

''Sire, let me tell you what happened.'' Leon answered. ''We were on a mission with...''

''What mission?''

''It was a very secret mission, sire, the king didn't tell us about it until our first night away, and you know about the spy of...''

''But I can't see the spy here, Sir Leon, can you?'' Agravaine asked with his typical sarcastic tone. ''Tell me about it.''

Leon hesitated and sighed before continuing. ''The mission was about finding a slave trader outside Camelot, but we didn't know much about him.''

''Gradel...'' Agravaine muttered.

''Sorry?''

''A slave trader I met long ago: Gradel.''

''Do you think we are talking about the same man?'' Leon asked, wondering how and why Agravaine knew a criminal.

''I could be.''

''Anyways,'' Leon continued, after looking into the other man's eyes for reasons. ''Probably halfway through the journey, we had the bad luck of encountering some bandits, more than twenty. All of us had to fight and we were focussed on that.''

''So you didn't care about your king.''

''My lord, it was a though battle, we could hardly pay attention to someone else. We did care about Arthur, I saw him seconds before he was captured, I tried to get to him, but got wounded, as you can see, and I had a blackout before I could warn the others.''

''And which one of you was the one who decided to save Sir Leon, no offence, instead of the king?'' Agravaine asked to the other knights.

''The three of us made choice, sire.'' Percival said quickly.

''Can I know the reasons?''

''Of course, Agravaine.'' Gwaine said, angry and making emphasis while saying the name, he didn't mind being disrespectful because Agravaine was being and idiot, talking as if Leon's life was worthless. ''I really want you to know that the conflict didn't end when Arthur and Merlin were taken away. We were fighting with at least three bandits each when we noticed that they were already far away. We needed to finish with them before doing something else. The men who had the king had ran away quickly and we couldn't have reached them even with the horses. I'm sure we were all closer to their territory than to Camelot. We were three exhausted knights and a mortally wounded one, we had no choice.''

''But...''

''My lord,'' Leon interrupted and gave Gwaine a 'be careful' look. ''I think it doesn't matter too much now what happened there, the point is that Arthur is now a prisoner of this slaver trader. Sire, we would like to ask for permission to find Arthur.''

''A mission to rescue Arthur, huh?'' Agravaine said in a stupid tone. ''I am not sure if that is possible.''

''But, sire...''

''I need to think about it, Sir Leon.''

''Think about it? He is the king and your...''

''No discussions here, I need to think about it because what you have done proves me that the knights of Camelot don't receive the training they...''

''Then choose others! We will tell them where to go and what to do... but we can't let Arthur there.''

''We don't even know if he's alive!''

''Sire, if you could let me speak,'' Gaius said, interrupting the fight. ''I don't think Arthur is dead. A king's death is tremendous and rumours spread quickly. Also, when someone dies, the first people to know are not always the friends but the enemies. If the king was dead, we would already know. Morgana would certainly know and she could have started an attack. Camelot can't stand alone without its king for too long.''

''Gaius, even if your statement makes sense, I just believe that you want the knights to go on this dangerous and suicidal mission to get your assistant instead of the king.''

''My lord, I love Arthur as much as I love Merlin, they are both really important for me. And it's not about what I want, but about what Camelot needs.''

''Well, Gaius, as I said, I need to think about it.'' Agravaine said, heading to the door. ''Knights, I will inform you about my decision.''

''He's an idiot.'' Leon said after Agravaine left the room.

''Be careful with that.'' Elyan said.

''He is one... and I don't trust him.''

''How come?''

''I mentioned the slave trader and he remembered one, why would he know him? And see how much he tries to believe that Arthur is dead? I bet he doesn't want us to rescue him. Something is telling me he is not completely loyal to Camelot.''

''That is a big accusation, Sir Leon.'' Gaius said.

''But you saw it, Gaius, you said something very clever and he had to start talking about Merlin to avoid your point.''

''What I'm trying to say is that we should be careful talking about it, we will discuss it more carefully later... Gwaine, Elyan and Percival, do you mind bringing some breakfast for all of us while I change Leon's bandages? We have to talk about this.''

''Leon's right, he's an idiot.'' Gwaine said as he and his two friends walked to the kitchen.

Percival laughed. ''God, Gwaine, you have been so reckless these past few days.''

''What do you mean?''

''You want to assume all responsibility, you talk almost screaming to Agravaine and treat him as if he didn't understand a thing, and now you say this at the top of your lungs in the middle of the castle.''

''Well, Agravaine can come and kiss my...'' Gwaine started, but closed his mouth when one of the cooks looked at him in a nasty way. ''And yes, I want to assume the responsibility because it was my fault.''

''It wasn't... and you know it's dangerous to act like that in front of that man.'' Elyan said.

''And what is he going to do?''

''He's the king's uncle! He can do whatever he wants and you know he doesn't like us, specifically the three of us because of our blood.''

''Alright, have it your way and. Hey Pers, why did you tell him the three of us had made that choice?''

''It's partly true and Elyan's right, it could have been dangerous for you.'' Percival said.

''Why is everyone suddenly so worried about that?'' Gwaine asked, grabbing an apple.

''Well, to be honest, Elyan and I talked a bit about it, but...'' Percival hesitated and grabbed some food. ''It was Leon who asked us to cover your back.''

''He did?''

''He's worried about you.'' Elyan said.

''He's worried that I find him tremendously sexy?'' Gwaine asked, hiding his feelings behind humour.

''This is serious, Gwaine, we all lied to Agravaine because we can't even imagine what we would have done if you had told him the truth.''

''Arthur would understand, but Agravaine? Don't even think about it'' Percival said. ''Should we go back?''

''Sure.'' Gwaine said and walked behind his friends. He was feeling somehow relieved that Leon didn't resent him; he was actually worried about him. He hadn't ruined their whole relationship after all. But he didn't know which was worse: Leon ignoring his feelings and 'forgetting', or him being angry at Gwaine.

They got to Leon's room and saw that the knight had been able to walk to the table. Gaius had brought chairs for all of them. They sat and began to eat.

''So...'' Leon started with his mouth full of food. ''Five days and I'll be completely fine, what do you think?''

''It's good, isn't it?'' Elyan asked.

''Yes but will you be ready that day?''

''Aren't we always ready?'' Gwaine said.

''I don't think they're getting it, Leon.'' Gaius commented.

''Get what?''

''We leave in five days to rescue Merlin and Arthur.'' Leon said.

''So we don't care about what Agravaine said, do we?'' Percival asked.

''No.''

''We ride at dawn?''

''As always.''

And with that, the plan was made.

TheLoner7


	5. Murlin and Dollop Head

**A/N: **Hello beautiful people from the internet! I am so so so sorry for taking so long to write this one. It's my first time writing Merthur and I've had a terrible writer's block, I apologise. But I will try to post the next chapter quick! Thank you for the favourites, follows and Silk's Shadow's kind review. Please. guys, keep telling me what you think about my fic, it seriously means a lot.

This chapter is for my friend Elen, that's why the original name was 'Deep Merthur Shit', but she knows I love her even though I changed the name. Thank you for everything little dragon!

Words without A/N: 1 993

**5. Dollop head and Murlin**

_''__What is done in love is done well.'' Vincent Van Gogh_

''... erlin! Merlin! Psst, Merlin!'' The young warlock woke up to Arthur's voice calling him.

''Arthur? What happened?'' Merlin asked, feeling a terrible pain in his head and eyes. He realised that he was on his knees, a tall man holding him in place, Arthur was next to him in the same position. He looked around, they were in a big room, guards everywhere. He also noticed that it was nigh time because of the torches and the big fire in the middle of the room.

''Merlin, are you alright?'' The kings asked, looking concerned. The warlock noticed Arthur's black eye, he must have tried to fight.

''I... I don't know... where are..?''

''Hey! Both of you stop it!'' The man who has Arthur snapped. ''No one gave you permission to talk.''

Merlin and Arthur gave each other concerned looks and remained quiet. Merlin tried to remember what had happened: he was sure they had been on a fight and that Arthur had rescued him, then he tried to... what had he been trying to do? Anyways, someone had hit him in the head and at that moment they were... well, whatever that place was. It was quiet for almost a minute, and then they heard footsteps and an angry voice.

''... better be good!'' An angry manly voice was heard, coming closer. ''You know I don't like it when you wake me up. This has to be good, if not...''

''My lord, this is good, I... I promise... be... better than anything we´ve ever captured.'' A shaky voice said, it belonged to a man as well.

''If you are lying to me, Benny Boy, I'm going to...'' The man talking walked into the room; he closed his mouth and opened his eyes with surprise. After staring at Arthur for a while, he laughed. ''Well, well, well, look at that, Benny.''

The man grabbed his fat belly and laughed out loud again. Merlin felt somehow scared, what was this man going to do with them? He touched Arthur's chin with a fat and dirty finger, but the king moved his head, making the man slap him.

''Don't act like that, little knight!'' The man snapped. ''If you don't want me to beat the living...''

''My... my lord, he is much more than a knight.'' The man who had been called Benny said. His master looked more carefully.

''Well, he is from Camelot, I can see that because of the uniform. Let me see... that hair colour, I have seen it before, but in a woman. And those eyes, they remind me of a man, a very cruel and powerful man... Blimey! But this is King Arthur! Ha! Your majesty, Gradel, at your service.'' The man said, bowing and laughing. Arthur didn't move or react. ''Gentlemen, take a look at this! King Arthur is now my slave!''

''Let us go, now.'' Arthur said seriously.

''You think we will just let you go?'' Gradel said with a smile that showed all his damaged and nasty teeth. ''No, no, my dear king, you are now mine and I will have a great reward for you.''

''I'm sure, my lord, I'm sure that King...'' Benny started.

''No king is going to have him, idiot!'' Gradel shouted and hit his servant. ''But Lady Morgana will... Ha! Look at his face! Look at the king's scared face! Yes, Arthur Pendragon, Morgana has offered so much for you. Unfortunately, she is on a trip far away and coming back could take her fifteen days at least. But fear not, my lord, you can stay here until she is back.''

''And you think she will give you what you wish?'' Arthur asked.

''Why? Do you have something better to offer?''

''Well, nothing is going to make me change my mind about sending you to prison, but...''

''Morgana offers me lands! She has promised to make noble men our slaves and beautiful women our wives. And what do you want to give me? A clean dungeon?''

''Listen, I cannot let you be free, you have captured my people and sold them as slaves''

''It's called business, King Arthur.'' Gradel said, completely serious now. ''There is not deal. Guards, take the king and the boy to a cell. Tomorrow, I will send a letter to Lady Morgana and give you a little raise. Benny, don't wake me up again.''

Gradel left, the two men holding Merlin and Arthur made them stand up. Merlin did what Arthur had told him to do if he ever got captured: he observed the place and memorised it. He paid close attention to the route to the dungeons. When they got there, Gradel's men threw them into a cell, closed the door and walked away. Arthur looked at them with disgust.

''Are you okay?'' Merlin asked.

''Yes, yes, Merlin, the question is are you okay? It was a terrible hit.'' Arthur said and touched Merlin's head, causing the warlock to moan in pain. ''I'm sorry, it isn't better?''

''Better?'' Merlin asked, touching the painful area. ''Arthur, I have to be honest with you, I don't know what is going on.''

''As always? Well, Merlin, remember the fight? Let me give you a short version: they captured you, I tried to help, but the same thing happened to me. Then you tried to help us escape, but...''

''They hit me in the head.''

''Indeed.''

''And I passed out?''

''For a bloody day and a half!''

''A day?'' Merlin asked, surprised.

''And a half.'' Arthur laughed. ''Seriously, Merlin, how do you do that?''

''Arthur, I am so sorry. It's my fault that we are here and now...'' Merlin started, but Arthur interrupted him with a kiss. Then he whispered. ''You didn't have to do that.''

''But I did, Merlin, and I don't regret doing so.'' Arthur whispered back, with his eyes still closed.

''I'm sorry.'' Merlin said. He felt so guilty, they wouldn't be there if it hadn't been for him.

''I chose to do that, alright?'' Arthur said, leaning against a wall and hugging Merlin.

''But, Arthur...''

''But nothing.'' The king said, kissing the other man again. ''Just shut up, Merlin.''

The warlock smiled, even though they were basically slaves and had no plan to escape, it was nice having time for themselves. He also giggled a bit when Arthur said his name, he had always found it funny.

''Are you laughing at me?'' Arthur asked, giving his servant a soft punch on the shoulder.

''No.'' Merlin answered, laughing once again. ''Just say my name.''

''Merlin, this is ridiculous, why are you...?'' Arthur started but was interrupted by Merlin roaring with laughter. ''What is so funny? Seriously, Merlin, how hard was the hit?''

''It's just the way you say...''

''Merlin, don't make me regret getting captured for you.''

''Sorry.'' Merlin said and made Arthur put his head on his lap, he seemed tired. The warlock smiled, why did Arthur pronounce his name like that? Everyone else called him Merlin, naturally. But it was as if Arthur replaced the E with a U, making it sound like Murlin. And he loved that, he loved being Arthur's Murlin.

''Don't be so scared.'' Arthur said.

''I'm not scared... But how are we getting out of here?''

''I'm not sure, Merlin, if we can't make a plan to escape, we will just have to wait.''

''What about the knights?''

''I'm sure they did the right thing, Merlin, I think one of them got wounded, I don't know who. Going back to Camelot was the best thing to do. What if they had been captured as well? No one in Camelot knew where we were going. They will announce it to everyone and come back for us.''

''Are you sure, Arthur?'' Merlin asked.

''Yes, Merlin, don't worry.'' Arthur held Merlin's hand. ''If not, we will find a way to escape, I promise.''

''Merlin felt safer with that, but what if everything failed? If they couldn't escape and Morgana reached them... well, he could do something with magic. However, he was afraid of that, really afraid. If he had to use magic, how would Arthur react? That question bothered him more than anything. He didn't want the king to discover his magic by accident, Merlin wanted to tell him.

_Does he even love me?_ Merlin thought. And that doubt was real. On many occasions, Arthur had acted completely loving to Merlin, he was in that situation because of him, actually. But he had never said those three words: I love you. Arthur had told a lot of people he loved them, he had even shouted that to Percival once when he saved his life. Merlin had also tried thinking about it in a different way, they had an uncommon type of relationship. But he had also said that to Gwen before their romance died. Was Arthur embarrassed of them?

Then, as if the king had been reading his mind, he whispered. ''I love you.''

''You what?'' Merlin said, sounding so impressed that he ruined the moment.

''Ah, come on, really?'' Arthur complained, standing up. ''This is the first time I try to be your romantic man and...''

''Wait... my romantic man?'' Merlin laughed.

''Oh, I'm so sorry, I got it wrong. I'm actually Gaius' romantic man... of course your romantic man, you stupid...''

''But I love you too.'' Merlin said, smiling.

''Was it hard to say?'' Arthur smiled, sitting down again.

Merlin took Arthur's hand when he sat next to him and smiled lovingly. He was unbelievable happy. Arthur was his 'romantic man', his king, his love. They stared into each other's eyes for a while.

''Why were you so surprised, Merlin?'' Arthur asked. ''I mean, it wouldn't be the first time someone didn't love me back, but...''

''No! No, Arthur, no. I do love you.'' Merlin said, squeezing his hand. ''It's just that I wasn't sure about you feeling like that.''

''Why do you say that, Merlin?''

''Well... these past few months nothing has been serious. There are just quick kisses when no one's looking and me going to your room late at night, little things like that. But we have never actually talked about...''

''Merlin, if you've ever wanted to talk you could have...''

''But you are the king, I didn't want to interrupt your duties.''

''Oh, shut up, Merlin.'' Arthur said and Merlin smiled, he had said 'Murlin' again. ''Well, maybe I was just waiting.''

''Waiting? For what?''

''I have been thinking a lot lately and...''

''Wait, you can think?''

''Merlin, this is serious.'' Arthur said and took a deep breath. ''Look, my uncle's opinion is very important for me and you know that I have done a lot of things most royals wouldn't approve. Agravaine has never liked having Gwaine, Percival and Elyan as knights, he wasn't a fan of my relationship with Guinevere either. I try not to care too much and to be free, even though it's actually important for me. But, Merlin, I want my uncle to know about us.''

Merlin smiled. ''You do?''

''Of course, Merlin. And you're right, we haven't talked about us, but believe me when I say that I want to take this more seriously.'' Arthur said, Merlin grabbed his face carefully and kissed him. Then, the king whispered. ''And then, who knows what could happen? With Agravaine's approbation or not, I will be with you no matter what.''

''Whatever happens, I'm just happy I'm with you.'' Merlin said, resting his head on Arthur's shoulder.

''Me too, Merlin.''

''Murlin.'' He laughed.

''Are you making fun of me?''

''No.''

''Then why are you laughing?''

''Because you're a dollop head.''

''Just shut up.'' Arthur said with humour, kissing his servant's forehead. ''I will get you out of here, Merlin, I promise.''

Eventually, both men fell asleep. They were prisoners, cold, hungry and, somehow, better than ever. Murlin and Dollop head.

**Review?**


	6. Drunk and in love

**A/N:** Hello beautiful people from the internet! I am so sorry, I don't think I've ever taken so long to post a new chapter, but a million things happened and ugh I barely have time to write. I can't promise that the new chapter will come soon, I start school on Monday, but I promise that I will try to be quick. Thank you so much for all the follows, favourites and kind reviews! It means a lot to me, that's why this chapter is super long, longer than any other.

Sooo, I have news. In case you don't have a Twitter/don't follow me there, I want to tell you what happened. Rupert and Eoin (Leon and Gwaine) know about this fic. Someone tweeted them a screenshot of the summary, Rupert tweeted it, Eoin answered and I fangirled like an idiot at 1am. BOOM I died. I still don't know how to feel about it, sometimes I feel happy and sometimes I feel like an idiot. But I still fangirl about it.

So yeah, please tell me what you think about this chapter and enjoy!

Words without A/N: 3 262

**6. Drunk and in love**

''_Cause a bottle of vodka is still lodged in my head and some blond gave me nightmares.'' _Bon Jovi

If Leon had known how his day would go, he wouldn't have even gotten out of bed. Of course, if he hadn't been so desperate to leave his room. Gaius had told him that he could go out that day and the knight received the news happily. It had been four days since their return to Camelot, meaning that they would leave in two days; Leon wanted to be fine by then. He just wanted to train and recover from his wound as soon as possible.

After a little inspection by Gaius, Leon got out of his room and headed to the training court, where his friends were. Luckily, he wasn't feeling a lot of pain and was willing to make his wound heal.

''Leon, are you sure you want to do this?'' Percival asked him.

''Absolutely.'' He answered.

''You know that we have to be strong for the mission, right?'' Elyan asked. ''You should save your...''

''I'm fine. I will be okay as all of you, I just don't want my body to get used to resting.''

''Just be careful.'' Gwaine said.

The fact that his friends were worried about him made Leon feel important and loved, but somehow annoyed. He hated being fragile or the victim. That was probably Leon's worst aspect, his huge pride. He always tried to be humble, to help others, but he wasn't happy with the idea of being helped. He never expressed that tough; he had been saved so many times that expressing that would make him sound ungrateful.

Leon felt incredibly good with a sword back in his hand. There was a slight pain on his side, but nothing he couldn't resist. They practiced for a bit and joked as always. Then he saw who he really needed to see, one of his old friends: Sir Martin.

''Hey, Martin!'' He called, running towards him.

''Oh, hello, Leon, it's good seeing you. I had no idea you were training today, how are you feeling?'' The knight answered. They had always been good friends, but Leon had pushed himself away a little when the others came.

''Great, a lot better.''

''I'm glad to hear that.'' Martin said, giving Leon a friendly punch and then putting his arm around his shoulders.

''It's good seeing you again, my friend.'' Leon said, speaking lower. ''Look, I need you to do something for me.''

''Sure, anything... Oh, and, by the way, when is Agravaine sending someone to rescue Arthur? It's been four days.''

''To be honest, I don't think he will.''

''You doubt Agravaine?''

''Well...'' Leon said, hesitating. He didn't know if his friend trusted Agravaine.

''I thought I was the only one.'' Martin said with a sigh of relief.

''Welcome to the club.'' Leon laughed, moving his eyes to his friends, who were staring at them.

''So, if Agravaine sends no one, what is going to happen?''

''That is exactly what I wanted to talk about with you. Martin, we are going for Arthur.''

''Great, and what do you need?''

''I will be completely fine in two days, we leave on that day. But we want to do it without Agravaine seeing us. You are in charge of guarding the doors on that day, right?''

''So you need me to open them for you and then lie or something.''

''If there is no problem with...''

''Of course there's not a problem, Leon, there is more than one way to leave Camelot, he won't know. Just let me see Agravaine's face when you're back with Arthur, that's all I ask for.''

''Done, my friend, thank you.''

''You ride at dawn? I'll have the doors prepared.'' Martin said, walking away.

''Thank you again!'' Leon said and Martin just waved. Leon returned to his friends, who were looking at him.

''What were you talking about with him?'' Gwaine asked in an almost jealous way.

''I have some great news for you.'' Leon said enthusiastically. ''Listen, I'm almost sure Agravaine won't let us go for Arthur and Merlin.''

''He surely won't, that's why we have the plan, don't we?'' Percival asked.

''Yes, but there was a problem with that plan. The doors can't be opened for us if we don't have Agravaine's permission. At first, I was thinking about going through a secret door, but we would have no horses. However, Martin is in charge of the doors on the day we leave and he is willing to help us, we can prepare the horses the night before and leave at dawn.''

''That's great!''

''Absolutely, but won't Sir Martin get into trouble?'' Elyan asked.

''He is smart, he can make something up.'' Leon said.

''Oh, that's brilliant. I'm sure stupid-face won't notice.'' Gwaine laughed

''Stupid-face?''

''Right behind you. Oh, wonderful, he's walking towards us, what a lovely surprise!'' Gwaine said jokingly, waving. When Leon turned, he saw Agravaine waving back. He couldn't help but to smile, Gwaine's nickname suited him.

''Gentlemen.'' Agravaine said, offering them a fake smile.

''My Lord.'' Leon answered.

''Feeling better, Sir Leon?''

''Much better, sire.''

''Good. Well, my dear knights, I just wanted to congratulate you. I have observed today's training and it seems that you are getting better.''

Percival cleared his throat. ''So, does that mean that...?''

''What, Sir Percival?''

''Well, you seemed unhappy with our training last time we spoke, sire. And we were wondering if you have thought about...''

''Oh, about your petition? I am still thinking about it.'' Agravaine smiled smugly.

''What?''

''My dear knights, you need to understand. I can't give you permission if you don't show me you have to abilities to go for my dear nephew.''

''We have done that lots of times and you just said...''

''All you did today was not enough, Sir Percival.''

''But King Arthur...''

''That's it! Enough!'' Agravaine shouted. ''You will never get permission with that attitude.''

''You just want the throne for yourself, don't you?'' Gwaine exploded before anyone could stop him.

''Be careful with those...'' Agravaine started screaming. He stopped, gave Gwaine a fake smile, took a deep breath and continued with a calmer tone. ''Well, what could you expect from an ignorant and uneducated little peasant? Be very careful, Sir Gwaine, because Arthur left me in charge and, if he never returns, you could be saying goodbye to your title.''

Agravaine walked away as if he was king of everything. Leon thought Gwaine was going to chase him or something, and he was ready to stop him. But, when he looked at him, he saw a sad and broken expression. The knight threw his sword and walked away.

''Gwaine.'' Leon said, but the other ignored him. Gwaine wasn't the type of person who got offended easily, but Agravaine's comment had been too mean.

''Should we go after him?'' Elyan asked.

''Maybe let's leave him alone for a while. Let him punch something and calm down. We will see how he is later.'' Leon answered. He wanted to follow Gwaine and help him, but he didn't know how or if it was the right thing to do he wished Gwaine wouldn't feel the way he did for him, it made everything harder. ''Come on, guys, let's have a little rest.''

Leon was walking around the castle nervously. It was late at night and he hadn't seen Gwaine since training. Leon had decided to leave Gwaine alone for a couple of hours, but, when he went looking for him, he couldn't find him anywhere. So many hours had passed, of course Leon was worried. It was incredibly late, some knights were going to seep. He was going to give up when he heard two familiar laughs.

''I can't believe you aren't worried about him.'' Leon said when he saw his friends.

''For the millionth time, Leon, he's surely fine. Stop worrying.'' Percival said.

''How do you know?''

''We saw him like an hour ago, he was okay.'' Elyan said.

''Oh... and where is he?''

''He said he was going to the tavern.''

''What?'' Leon asked furiously. ''And you didn't stop him?''

''Why would we?''

''Because you know how much Gwaine drinks when he's upset! And we leave Camelot in two days!''

''Well, we are not if you keep screaming. I wouldn't be surprised if Agravaine heard everything you just said.''

''How could you two let him do that?''

''Oh, come on, Leon, what's the worst thing that could happen?''

''Seriously? Gwaine always gets into fights when we don't go to control him.''

''Oh, you want to have some control over Gwaine, don't you?'' Elyan joked and Percival laughed.

''This can't be true.'' Leon said, covering his face with his hands. ''Do you actually know about...?''

''Well, if Gwaine stopped being princess obvious...'' Percival started.

''Alright, alright, enough with the jokes. I'm going for him.'' Leon interrupted.

''Do you want help? I bet the wound still hurts.''

''No. You coming to the tavern as well? You have as much self control as Gwaine when it comes to alcohol.'' Leon said, pushing his friends away. ''And go to sleep, now.''

Elyan and Percival laughed, but headed to their rooms. Leon was so angry and he promised himself that he would never let Gwaine go alone anywhere when he was upset. All he had wanted when he got up was a nice and peaceful day. Even his plans for a normal night were ruined.

As he reached the tavern, Leon could hear the loud talking and the rest of the noises. He took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping inside. He walked around for a bit, looking for Gwaine, but he was nowhere to be seen. He decided to ask the owner, hoping that he knew where Gwaine was.

''Hello. Excuse me, I was wondering if...'' Leon started, but someone tripped with him. ''Hey!''

The man who had basically pushed Leon turned around, revealing himself. Gwaine looked so drunk. ''Oh, hello you. Have you come to help me?'' He asked, and two men appeared out of nowhere, staring at Gwaine furiously.

''Hang on there. We don't want any conflicts, thank you so much.'' Leon said, grabbing Gwaine's shirt and stopping the two men.

''Oh, my boy, you can drink, can't you?'' The owner of the tavern laughed.

''Sorry about that.'' Leon said, preventing Gwaine from grabbing another drink. ''How much did he drink?''

''I... I can't remember.''

''Oh, great... do you think you will remember tomorrow? He will come back and pay, I promise.'' Leon said and the man nodded. Then, he grabbed Gwaine's arm tightly. ''We are leaving, you and I need to talk.''

The good thing: Gwaine was obedient; he followed Leon outside without complaining. The bad thing: he was tremendously drunk... and emotional and flirty. As soon as Leon closed the door behind them, he pushed Gwaine against a wall.

''What on earth were you doing?'' Leon asked angrily.

''Relax, pretty one, I came here just for a drink.'' Gwaine answered.

''Just a drink? Just a drink, Gwaine?'' Leon shouted, shaking the other man. ''We leave Camelot in two days to rescue Merlin and Arthur, and even the owner forgot how much you drank.''

''Well, you must be the wisest man ever because I have never heard of a hangover that has lasted two days.''

''You could have gotten hurt, two men were about to hit you. Why do you have to be so irresponsible?''

''I will be careful, I promise, Sir. But, if you could excuse me, there's a drink waiting for me on a table'' Gwaine said, pushing Leon away.

''Gwaine, you are stopping right now!'' Leon shouted, returning the other man to his old position: against the wall. ''What do I have to do to make you act like the knight of Camelot you are?''

''Ah, come on, Leon.''

''No, Gwaine, seriously. There must be something.''

''Leon, could you...?''

''I am serious, what do you want?''

''You know exactly what I want.'' Gwaine said, suddenly dead serious. He looked into Leon's eyes in a mischievous way.

''Gwaine, are you..?'' Leon started, but froze. The comment had taken him by surprise. He was completely speechless, how could Gwaine go from drunkenly stupid to dead serious in seconds? Either Gwaine had had enough or he saw the opportunity and took it. Leon would have probably thought that the other was joking if his eyes weren't saying, _yes, idiot, I just said I want you._ But it had been his fault for insisting.

Would a kiss be enough? If Leon gave Gwaine what he wanted, would he change for better? Maybe he would promise to be more careful about his choices and to stop acting like a child every time he got upset... but was that really Leon's motivation to kiss Gwaine? The shorter man was looking at him determined but lovingly, something sexy about him. It was a cold night, but Leon could feel Gwaine's warm body; damn, they were so close. A little voice inside Leon's head went, _ah, come on, just go for it. _Leon put one of his hands on Gwaine's face, and closed his eyes. He started getting closer and closer, his lips were about to touch Gwaine's. But the most unexpected thing happened: Gwaine looked down and pushed him away softly.

Leon cleared his throat while a million things went through his head. There was this strange feeling, disappointment? Maybe. _What on earth am I doing_, he thought. He tried shutting his mind up with his voice. ''You erm... you tell me you love me one day and...''

''Oh, don't get me wrong.'' Gwaine said, looking hurt. ''You are beautiful, smart, admirable and tremendously sexy... but this is not okay. If you ever kiss me, I want it to be because you actually feel something.''

''I... I'm sorry, Gwaine, I was so stupid for doing this.'' Leon said, thinking straight and hoping that Gwaine wouldn't remember anything in the morning. ''I was being a child and I don't want you to change, forgive me.''

''I could change for you without hesitation, but it's hard, you know?''

''I don't want you to change, Gwaine. I want you to stop this, it's always the same when you get offended.''

''Do you know why I was drinking?''

''What?''

''I said: do you know why I was drinking?'' Gwaine asked again and Leon moved his head negatively. ''It wasn't for stupid-face's comment. I usually drink for fun...''

''Or when you have a bad day.''

''For fun, as I was saying. And I think that everyone should do that. But some tell me that they do it to forget someone. I was not in the mood to drink, but I thought it would help me to forget. And you know what? Those idiots lied to me, I didn't forget at all. You were the only thing in my stupid mind.''

Leon remained silent, he didn't know how to react. What are you supposed to say when someone admits thinking about you when their mind is drowning in alcohol? Thank you? Leon spoke. ''Gwaine, I'll take you home, tomorrow we'll talk about this.''

''No, Leon.'' He answered, trying to look sober. ''I can go alone and I won't talk about this.''

''The castle is on the opposite direction, idiot.'' Leon said and Gwaine looked at him confused. The blond walked towards him and made Gwaine put his arm around his shoulders. It hurt a bit, but he had to take his friend to his room. ''Come on, let me help you.''

''I don't need your help.'' Gwaine said, but didn't remove his arm.

''Of course you do... if you want, we won't talk about this, I can forget about the whole thing.''

''Forget.'' Gwaine whispered, the two men remained silent for a bit. ''Let me tell you a story.''

''I'd rather not hear about it, Gwaine'' Leon said. He knew that drunk people always told the worst stories.

''I'm telling you the story anyways.'' The other laughed. ''I had a friend once, he was a good man and crazy about this girl. He really loved her with passion and it was beautiful seeing how much he cared about her. The thing is that she didn't like him back and tried to push him away so many times. After a while, she grew absolutely tired and became rude. Still, he loved her. She made him sad, of course, but he wasn't giving up on her... but, one day, she just stopped and pretended he was invisible. She ignored his existence completely. And he said: 'Gwaine, being ignored hurts more than being hated.' For a long time, I thought it was nonsense. But he's right, it does hurt more.''

''Gwaine, whatever you're trying to say with that, just know that I don't ignore you.''

''Bu you ignore the way I feel. And then you get angry at me when...''

''And what am I supposed to do? Gwaine, if I could love you back...'' Leon stopped abruptly, would he love him too? He sighed. ''Look, I care about you, but I can't make feelings appear out of nowhere.''

''In other words?''

''I want you to be happy, but doesn't my happiness count too?''

''I know you don't love me, you have proven me that. But, just like you, I can't pretend this isn't happening. Love is putting someone's happiness before yours. And I do that... I do that.'' Gwaine said with tears flooding his eyes. ''I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you all this. I won't even remember most of what happened tomorrow.''

''It's okay.'' Leon muttered. He didn't know what to say. He was surprised and overwhelmed and... He looked at Gwaine, he was an idiot most of the time, but he could also be so smart and wise. Leon didn't know much about love, but everything his friend had said sent chills down his spine. Strangely, he wished Gwaine would collapse so he could carry him, even if that meant reopening his wound. Leon had never been so confused, the only thing he knew was that the other man's arm around him made him feel safe and comfortable... was that right?

When they finally made it to Gwaine's room, there was just a 'thank you, I'm sorry.' Nothing else. No petition to stay. No comment. No kiss. Nothing. Even though both men wanted that.

Gwaine didn't fall asleep instantly. He could remember a few things from that night and all of them made him feel like an idiot. He felt a tear roll down his cheek. The man who didn't love him was in his mind and refused to leave. Gwaine thought about Leon when he was drunk and when he was sober, when he was awake and when he was asleep. And that was more painful than any other torture.

Leon had to work hard to fall asleep too. He was thinking, thinking about Gwaine and everything he had said. He was handsome, clever, funny, and absolutely in love with him. If Leon could choose, would he love him back? He shouldn't and he couldn't, it wasn't right... but Gwaine loved him and... He laughed at himself. Sir Leon, admirable and responsible Sir Leon, was more confused than ever before.

One of them loved the other with burning passion and courage. The other loved him with fear and insecurity. But, at the end of the day, isn't that how great love stories always begin?

**Review?**

**TheLoner7**


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